I said I would write a blog post about my cousin Lola, so that is what I’m going to do and I’m going to do it right now because we are all going to die and there is a real chance I could be knocked off the world’s edge tonight and this post would remain in the archives of my decomposing brain, never to be released by the spark of an electrical impulse ever again and Lola would always remain looking for answers, never quite fulfilled with the gratification that Mae’s unceasing pseudo-philosophical and psychoanalytical dissection allows.
Lola! Where do I begin?! You are an interesting creature. You were and still are always deep in thought about one thing or another, and the vacant stare that you give me when I try to engage your attention via some embarrassing act of desperation always reminds me that your daydream about mixing chunks of butter and sugar together in the kitchen downstairs and snacking on it is superior to anything I could ever do for you.
I come to you with my problems because you give me the impression that you’ve been here on the earth longer than I have, even though that is untrue. Or so the forged birth certificates say…
You see a situation very clearly for what it is a million miles before any of us do. You never let anyone forget their rusty mortal coil, quick to reduce us to rubble if we do. Like I said before, you are a great humbler, which you could not be if you weren’t incredibly humble yourself. Not once have you ever let yourself believe that you are beautiful (which, objectively speaking, you really are) or incredibly quick-witted and zany, maybe so the world can’t ever let you down. Some day it will because it always does, but I don’t doubt you will be prepared for it.
You taught me how to flop. It never occurred to me that I could have an instantaneous and constantly accessible, while not permanently damaging, release valve in moments of distress, frustration or confusion. Nowadays, whenever life gets tough, I channel you as you come bumping limply down the stairs on your back, protesting and simultaneously rejoicing in life and its illusion of freedom. You go Glen LoLo.
Long story short- YOU’RE QUITE SOMETHING.
If you didn’t understand any of this it’s because it’s badly written. I am too lazy to dedicate any real time to this because it’s close to my heart.
I prefer dedicating time to stuff that doesn’t mean a lot to me because I have severe trust issues.
Yes. That’s me all aired out.
SEE YOU LOLA IF I DIE SOON AT LEAST YOU KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU FOREVER AND EVER GOODBYE LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS